“Rudeness is the weak man’s imitation of strength – Eric Hoffer

Last week I was at the gym almost every day.  I have been enjoying a remission and so I was having my daily swim.  On my way out I stopped in the locker room to get changed and one of my friends came by to say  hello on her way to a yoga class.  She approached me from behind, as I was putting on my coat.

“Hey, what’s going on?” she asked, reaching to give me a big hug.  I smile and hug her back.

“I’m great…” I reply and then she starts to cough and hack in my face.  I back off immediately, because I take Steroids and Imuran, medications which lower your resistance to infection.  She coughs without covering her mouth, completely unaware of my horror.  I have told her in the past that I have Lupus, but I don’t think she is remembering this at the present moment.

“I never get sick, I can’t believe that I am sick.” she says wiping her dripping nose with the back of her hand.  “I haven’t been sick since I was 10 years old” she brags.

Well, that’s just great for her.  I make an excuse and get out of there quickly.  It’s been 5 days since that happenstance, and this morning I woke up with a fever of 103, chills, coughing and a runny nose, and I think I may have her to thank for this.  I try to be really careful about getting close to people… but how can you?  How do you explain to people that you have to stay away from them if they are sick.   Most “normal” people, who don’t have Lupus or HIV or Cancer or any other disease that weakens the immune system, have no idea what it’s like to get sick at the drop of a hat.  They can be around the plague and maybe it won’t affect them, but Lupies like me are just walking incubators for germs.

It’s my birthday today, and it’s a real drag having to spend it at home, drinking tea and taking medicine, trying to get the fever down.  If I’m lucky I’ll get over this in a week,  but if I’m not lucky, this infection will upset my immune system and set of a Lupus flare, and then all hell will break loose.  I work really hard at keeping the wolf at bay, and in 10 selfish, idiotic seconds my “friend” probably made me sick and may have potentially triggered an even more dangerous immune response that could put me in the hospital.  I will just have to wait it out and see.